Calvin and Hobbes on Everything: Friends and Quotes and the Meaning of Life

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One of the most beloved comic series of all time, the characters Calvin and Hobbes boasted more than its share of life lessons, including those on friendship.

The daily strip had an unforgettable decade-long run, from 1985 to 1995, and was well loved by the Gen Xers who came of age during that time but also found fans among all ages and walks of life sharing inspirational quotes and benefiting from good self-esteem.

Calvin and Hobbes Quotes

Even now, almost 25 years after it ended, the series is missed by its fans and its cultural impact is still felt. The simple premise of a quirky boy and his stuffed tiger turned into a lasting legacy and grew into something even bigger than a comic strip. Bear in mind, this was no ordinary boy.

And was certainly no ordinary stuffed tiger!

From the long pause to the awful truth, we’ve compiled some of the most memorable quotes for a fun-filled, nostalgic walk down the absurdity of Calvin and Hobbes memory lane…

Calvin and Hobbes Friendship Quotes

In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Childhood is short, maturity is forever.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

It is man’s indomitable nature to scare himself silly for no good reason!

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teacher’s lounge.

That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one’s tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers like eleventeen…

I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Hobbes: “What are you doing?”Calvin: “Being cool.”Hobbes: “You look more like you’re bored.”Calvin: “The world bores you when you’re cool.”

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, mom?

Calvin: “I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.”Hobbes: “What’s misunderstood about you?”Calvin: “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.”

It seems like once people grow up; they have no idea what’s cool.

In my opinion, television validates existence.

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

It’s no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

I won’t eat any cereal that doesn’t turn the milk purple.

I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.

Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character.

Moms and reason are like oil and water.

I’d hate to have a kid like me!

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing.

Calvin: “I’m a simple man, Hobbes.”Hobbes: “You?? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear-powered car that turns into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!”Calvin: “I’m a simple man with complex tastes.”

What on earth am I doing inside on this beautiful day?! This is the only life I’ve got to live!

Wow, look at the grass stains on my skin. I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

Obviously my body doesn’t believe a word my brain is saying.

I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

Dad: “The world isn’t fair, Calvin.”Calvin: “I know, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?”

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Hobbes: “What would you call the creation of the universe?”Calvin: “The Horrendous Space Kablooie!”

Calvin: “Bad news, Dad. Your polls are way down.”Dad: “My polls?”Calvin: “You rate especially low among tigers and six-year-old white males.”

It’s not summer if your tongue isn’t purple.

There aren’t very many heroes these days. Who is out there to inspire us with a personal example of virtue and self-sacrifice in the name of a higher good? Who can we look up to? Business Leaders? Sports Figures? Politicians? Celebrities? Heck, we’re lucky if they don’t end up in prison! As usual, the hero business is up to me!

Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out. He says its colder because the earth’s orbit is taking us farther from the sun. He says winter will be here soon. Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

True friends are hard to come by…I need more money!

Calvin: “I’ve noticed that when we play games with girls you get captured a lot.”Hobbes: “Some of us are just irresistible.”

I think nighttime is so dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.

People don’t realize what a burden it is being a genius like me. It’s not easy having a mind that operates on a higher plane than everyone else! People just refuse to see that I’m the crux of all history, a boy of destiny.

You can present the material, but you can’t make me care.

My brain wishes my ego had call waiting.

Dear Santa: Why is your operation located at the North Pole? I’m guessing cheap elf labor, lower environmental standards, and tax breaks. Is this really the example you want to set for us impressionable kids?… My plan is to put him on the defensive before he considers how good I’ve been.

Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.


Watterson, Bill. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes. Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2005.

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